I'll be damned. . .

Adventure times...gonna keep em plain and simple for today. Found the NM above with Cyprias, we were super excited since it drops an Absorb-Dex scroll. Didn't get it the first night but found it again luckily on our next night farming and got the drop. A nice little amount of gil for our pockets.

Ran into a tarutaru party all wearing moogle hats. It was too cute to not take a picture. I wanted to try asking them if I could get a better one but they ran off in the opposite direction and I was already late meeting up with Cyprias.

ENM - Still no luck but we'll get that darn ring soon for Cyprias. I just know it.

Helped Lilyoda and a stranger beat the CoP moblin fight. Henita, Audio, and Cyp came to help and we beat the fight with almost 20 minutes to spare. Great work guys!

Edit: (Warning, below is hard to read since it was written by a delirious mithra.)

Anyhoo, serious time now. Although it hasn't been finalized...and I don't think it will ever fully disband, I believe Strife is done with end game. I said I would be damned if I would let it happen but things were much dire then I expected. With talks with many exsisting and ex-members, I was left with a sense of defeat...and it really stunk. I told Souel I could try really hard and get stuff done, but he said that my enthusiasm could only go so far and he was right.

There are so many factors that led to this ragged group of leftovers of Strife and...well I just need to vent. At first I was mad at myself. I honestly felt I did something wrong. Perhaps if I skipped a beach party and went to one more run...or if I told one more funny joke...that maybe I could of stopped Strife into becoming what it was. Again, I'm just venting so I don't want anyone to take it personal. After I was mad at myself I was mad at the leadership.

At Arnor who would show up late to stuff since he was busy exping or doing stuff with Tammy. But then I remembered those hard times Arnor went and how I was super worried about his health. But now he really has been a lot happier lately. Arnor, you're honestly one of the greatest friends I have and I'm so so so happy that you're doing so well. I knew I couldn't be angry at Arnor.

Then I got mad at Milie. I won't lie. I felt betrayed Milie. I stuck my tail out for you for that dialogue with Souel and then I found out you went and joined ML? You said you just wanted to join a King's ls and you still doing sea with them? We do sea don't we? I was pissed, especially when in my grumpy mood I made a correlation with what you were doing was kind of similar with what Kviton did, and that only got me more angry. But after calming down and reading Milie's post...she had every right to do what she wanted. Milie, although you sometimes take things very personally, you're a wonderful person to be around. When I read your post about it being a dream to be in a linkshell like that, I couldn't help but be happy for you. Being able to do your dreams is great and I hope you're able to thrive there. I'm honestly 110% rooting for you.

Then my mind wandered to Rifu. Honestly Rifu, I really didn't know what to say. You're not on a lot but you're making sure your family has food on the table and I can't get mad at you for that.

And of course Souel. I was so sad when he said that Strife would turn into an event linkshell...I could feel my tail droop almost instantly. Souel...I know you have never ever shown me the full frontal anger and brutality of your grumpy leadership face, but I know there must be liability from the top. I was angry at Souel for not stopping the situation before it came to this. I was angry that he told me to give up. I was angry he wouldn't himself yell at peeps or keep peeps in line. But I could never be angry at Souel...ever since he took me under his arm when I was a low level thief...it is thanks to him and the loving group that he made that I was able to thrive into the kitty I am now. Although many others tell me he is a grumpy asshole, he has always been a loving cheerful caring person in my eyes...dispite the fat tail remarks...

I wanted to be mad at the members...for not stepping up and showing up to events. How could they sign up and not come to stuff. . .but I couldn't get mad at them either...we're all busy with work, school, or other stuff and we all agree'ed that Strife was second to real life matters. We have always been relaxed about stuff like that and maybe that was the start of our demise.

Regardless, as my ranting showed...I...I wanted to blame someone, a group, a person...anybody....I just wanted to yell at someone and put all the blame on someone...even myself...but I just couldn't. I won't lie, Strife was much more to me then what most of you treat it as. I honesetly cried when I heard even the rumors of Strife ending...not sniffles...I mean full on tears into my pillow. I was just so sad...anyhoo...Souel wants to keep the linkshell together as a social/event linkshell but it really hurts me to see it like that. I'm gonna be keeping linkshells off for a while since I just dunno what to do anymore. If you see me walk by, please give me a hug. I...well...I'll be walking around exploring as thief...and I could use a lil happiness boost...

I've decided to sell off my red mage stuff and only keep what I need for the ENM. I'm done with the job forever otherwise. I don't want people discussing the job. I just wanna be my thief...

Anyhoo...I'm sorry for ending tonights journal entry on such a sad note. I sure hope September is a lot better...